Naturally, every parent loves their child irrespective of the challenges they pass through. There are cases where parents have taken a bullet, were incarcerated, sold property, had sleepless nights, and even mortgaged their future for their child to survive and have the best in life. Thus, it would be absurd hearing that a parent hates their child.
Knowing what to do when your parents hate you
One would wonder why a parent would hate their child when love seems to be a natural phenomenon that flows from a parent to their children in the natural scheme of things. However, you need to know what to do when your parents hate you. Where it is due to your bad behavior, you might want to reconsider your ways. However, where the hatred is not justifiable, you may have to remain calm and figure out an escape route.
Keep reading to get more information!
Parenting And The Love For Your Child
A union between a man and a woman who are legally married or contract marriage —as it is prevalent in the Westerner World is to bear a child and raised the child morally to be successful in life and to help him attain his social status among his peers.
For parents to hate their child would be as a result, in most cases, disobedience from the child, and this is so rare despite how bad the child could be. If such happens, then the parents have lost patience, confidence, and trust in that particular child with their hearts broken.
“The Master is always right,” they say, but in some situations, the Master could be wrong sometimes with his decision and choice. No parents bare children to hate but to love and cherish them, and we cannot talk about when parents suddenly hate their child without identifying some of the root causes.
Why Parents Hate Their Child
There are causes why parents turn to hate their children. They include the following:
A parent could hate their child as a result of some physical characteristics that the parents dislike and would want him changed. Most children picked overt behavior from their peers by looking unkempt and engage in the act of dressing in a manner that the parents do not accept. It could be wearing dreadlocks and earrings, sagging of trousers and wearing of distressed jeans, etc. for a boy.
For the girl to start wearing dresses that expose her body and not keeping herself as a woman, the kind of friends she keeps would make her parents, if after several warnings, to start hating her.
Change of attitude or character is one of the significant causes that make parents hate their child because he has changed in character. A child that is growing can pick up many traits that make the parents keep a proper check and close monitoring on him while growing up. For example, a well-raised and educated family would want their child also to follow their footsteps. If the child disobeys them and involve himself in armed robbery, drug peddling, joining a cult, and not embracing education would warrant his parents to hate him.
Social vices are significant causes of why a child involves in such acts. Many have attributed these vices to a broken home where the child lacks care, supervision, and attention from their parents.
Negligence and unemployment that is prevalent in the country contributed to some children who involved themselves in money politics, and they committed all sorts of atrocities as directed by their godfathers.
What Are You Doing?
Lack of care given by parents can also push the child into social vices that would, in turn. It makes his parents hate him, and in some rare cases, parents had gone far to even denounced their child after several attempts to correct his misdeed failed.
A child who his parents hate him has many steps to take to restore the lost confidence, trust, and love they repose in him. Some posit that if your parents hate you, you should move on with your life that your parents can not choose the career of your choice for you.
While some believe that, when you noticed the hate in your parents, sit back and review your life what you have done wrong, change what they have complained about and come back pleading for forgiveness.
The building of a man is solely dependent on the parents, and that is why they go all out to do anything humanly possible to make sure you achieve greatness in life.
A child’s achievements give so much joy to their parents, as they want to be alive to eat the fruit of their labor. A grown-up child should at least know where he has his flaws. When he discovers what the parents have regularly complained about, and if he loves his parents, he will make amend, come back and apologize to them.
If a child is a school dropout that makes his parents hate him, he can still come back and reconcile with them. It is not ideal you discover that your parents hate you and decide to abandon them out of anger. A reasonable human being will always learn to amend his ways and would avoid what will make his parents hate him.
Parents hating on their children does not come naturally after giving birth to their child. It happens when their parents do not give them proper care, or in the presence of a corrupted environment, peer pressure, negligence, lack of adequate supervision, and attention.
The effect here is vice versa because it affects both sides, and the causes come from both sides too. The best step the child should take is to check what has gone wrong. If it has gotten beyond his line of control and needs a consultant, he should seek one with a total change of attitudes.
The parents are always open to receiving their prodigal child when he realizes his wrongdoing. He should demonstrate a total change of obedience that he has changed. The many opinions which suggest that a child can move on if their parent hates them do not understand the relationship, spiritually and physically. The support the parents do give to their child.
In many climes, especially the Western World, some children do not grow up with their parents. It could be due to their policies and social structure and somewhat survive and move on without the support of their parents.
However, our society is dangerous in a way that our level of understanding and practices necessitates the future that beholds the child. So, coming back to appease and beg for forgiveness is the best thing a reasonable human being who has gone astray would do to save his future.
Ways To Survive When Your Parents Hate You
Despite the hatred a parent might have for his child, there is nothing that the child would do to change their behaviors. Instead, he should learn how to survive and move on. Staying calm is one of the ways to survive horrid parents who never see anything good in their child.
To survive the surge, the child should make a firm decision that will help him sail through in his journey of life. The challenges he will properly face and will not be easy as the journey of life has never been easy.
Instead of the child to keep reflecting on the ill-words of his parents, he should prepare himself by practicing how to control you. When you find yourself in such a case, some of the things that would help you survive are to be slow in his reaction, engage in deep breathing and meditation.
It will help him take deep breaths if you have been bullied or shouted at, as it will help you feel better. Where the child is the subject of constant criticism, he should try to be silent to replacing his parent’s negative comments with something positive words and declarations.
The child should also be able to accept the situation. Something might be wrong such as unfair accusations. However, it would help if you endeavored to work out your life story and try to understand the situation.
Retaliation is not an option in this kind of situation. Thus, you should not retaliate. Many children have formed the habit of arguing with their parents when talking or advising them. It will not solve the problem. Instead, it will make the matter worse.
Look out for ways you can make the situation better. Do not make any attempt to fight your parents because you will not win. Do not let the terrible opinion of your parents about you be your narrative. If you are self-critical, tell yourself everyone makes mistakes and make corrections.
The future is bright for anyone that sees well in it, so be hopeful about the future. You can be who you want to, whether or not your parents accept you.
No one was born empty if only can you believe in your abilities. Do not have the notion that you are the terrible person that they claim you are. Now that you know what to do when your parents hate you, you can apply them and live a better and enriched life.
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